Bedtime is always a crazy time with us.  Finishing up dinner, clearing the table, picking up toys from evening playtime, getting everyone in pj’s, putting away dirty clothes, getting out tomorrow’s clothes (big time saver for the morning rush!), brushing teeth, story time, song time, prayer time, and lights out.  Whew, makes me tired just thinking about it!  Then I have to finish cleaning the kitchen and other odds and ends that must be done...but times like today I get to sit and write!

There is one thing I dread worse than any housework that must be done when what I really want to do is go to bed right after the kiddos.  That is brushing Erik’s teeth.  Not only is it a daily activity, but it has to be done at least twice!!

He has always fought, yes sometimes literally kicking and screaming, brushing his teeth.  It isn’t because he doesn’t want to do it.  It isn’t because he wants to resist us or disobey (which are all the things we used to think were going on).  It is because he has some big sensory integration problems. 

The girls can get in there and brush teeth and have fun doing it.  Singing songs, playing with the water, trying it out on their own, setting a timer and brushing till it runs out... it is all just kid fun for something that we simply have to do.

Not Erik.  He has never liked to brush teeth.  He cries, screams as if in pain, gags, looks everywhere but straight ahead and gets stabbed by the toothbrush because we can’t hold it steady with him moving...you name it, it just doesn’t work.  The toothbrush is too rough, the toothpaste too hot (or sweet depending on what flavor).  Can he possibly come up with any other reason to not brush??

I remember Emily, our second child, used to cry about brushing her teeth, too.  When she got old enough to think about it, she told me one day, “Mommy, brushing teeth doesn’t really hurt.  I won’t cry anymore.”  That made me realize how many clues she was picking up about reactions to every day life that were Erik’s and not her own.  We started brushing their teeth at separate times so she wouldn’t be influenced by his reactions.  With Kieren, our third, we tried to keep her away from Erik’s brushing sessions so she would not pick it up.  She has always been great at brushing her teeth.

Since changing our diet to a vegan, gluten-free, mostly raw diet, many of Erik’s sensory issues have decreased dramatically.  I can’t say they are gone, but they are certainly manageable.  We can get through the brushing session without so much chaos.  

Interestingly, one of the things that works well for him is an electronic toothbrush.  He reacts so negatively toward the sensations of brushing teeth, but loves the strong feeling of the buzzing of the electric kind.  We use Sonicare (in my opinion, the best available and they have compact brush heads that are perfect for children).  It really vibrates strongly.  This makes sense in one way because he is a sensory seeker.  I described it in a previous post that he craves strong sensations from his environment, which makes him very active always doing things we tell him he should out of pure impulsiveness.

On a quick sidenote, chemicals in your body care products are just as important as what is in your food!  Read this article online to find out why you shouldn’t actually use toothpaste, and check out Tooth Soap.  We use it in replacement of toxic toothpastes and it works great.  It comes in naturally flavored varieties.

Tonight, the girls were in bed and I braced myself with the upcoming brushing session with Erik.  Yes, he will be 8 soon and we still have problems with this.  I still have to brush his teeth because he simply won’t do it correctly on his own.  We are working on this, too.  We started off ok and he tries really hard now to stay still and have the patience to bear it.  (Before the dietary changes, that never ever happened!) 

He started to get a little worked up.  It was later than usual and he was tired.  He was fidgety (more than the norm) and began tiny bouncing movements and quietly whining.  He was not keeping his mouth open and I couldn’t see to prevent poking him and making him really upset.  I knew what was about to happen. 

Thinking in the spur of the moment to come up with some way to avoid a blow up, I asked if he felt like getting angry right now.  He said yes, but that he was really trying to stay calm.  He said he was screaming inside.

So, we took a little break and joked around a bit.  I told him to look at me again and open his mouth like he was screaming at me.  Boy, did he like that one!  He smiled mischievously and asked, “Can I really scream at you?!?”  I said sure, if it is a very quiet scream (the girls were in bed…).  He opened up wide, and let it go.  I stood there, brushing his teeth with him pretending to be mad at me and screaming, somewhat quietly.

Then what seemed like the next instant, we were done!  It worked!  He was amazed.  I told him that we could be done that fast every time if he could stay still, open-mouthed, and let me just do it.  He was so happy and silly.  Usually we leave the bathroom a bit stressed, but tonight was totally free of any problems!

It looks like I will be letting him scream at me, after all!  J  Hey, if you are a parent of a child somewhere on the scale of the autistic spectrum, then you will understand what I mean by do what it takes to get the job done!

I would love to hear of your triumphs and creative ideas to get through your daily struggles!  Care to share?